As we all do, I struggle as a human being.  Some have larger obstacles, some smaller.  Tolerance with people used to be the focal point; however, it appears “tolerance” is judgment in disguise.  I used to espouse tolerance and act like I was the bigger person for tolerating someone’s behavior as it pertained to their race, religion, politics, sexual orientation or appearance in general.  “Whatever they need to do to make it through their day, I can tolerate.”  It then occurred to me that for me to “tolerate” another person meant that I had held my station higher than theirs.  This hit me like a clap of thunder during the Arizona monsoon season; loud, jarring and desperately close to home.

As humans, we all struggle with prejudice or “pre-judgment.”  We cannot help but to judge each book by its cover.  The first impression of each person we see sets the wheels forward to snap off an opinion, unfortunately, based solely on the outward appearance, mannerisms and dress of the person in our sights.  We become enflamed at the person driving the car that just pulled out in front of us on some country road, no one behind us, “They could have waited!” to pull out on the road until we passed them.

We vilify them for their stupidity and selfishness.  To tolerate them for this heinous act is difficult, until we realize this is a person who may have just lost a child or parent, been fired from a job or received devastating health news.  To tolerate these people does them a complete disservice by dismissing the path they travel and the shoes in which they walk.  I ask myself, “Would confronting this person in the form of ‘road rage’ solve my anger and disgust?  Would telling the hip-hop teenager to put his ball cap on straight make a satisfying difference in either of our lives?”  The opposite side of the coin is, these people are looking at me with the same discriminating eyes and they don’t know me either.

So, my struggle is to stop being a “tolerant” person and become a non-judgmental human being.  I have far too much on my own plate and creating a burden of tolerating another person who is just walking their own path, just as I am, seems like a ridiculous waste of time and energy.  Whatever it takes for them to get out of bed, take care of themselves and their families, make no blatant or obvious attempt to injure, damage or destroy another human being, it makes sense to stay in my own lane, and do the same in my life.