And Now for Something Completely Different…A Couple of Funny Dog Christmas Stories

This week’s column is a bit of a departure from the norm. Usually the column contains useful information pertaining to dogs, but maybe it’s time to inject a little levity into the situation. So here are a couple of funny holiday-related dog stories as my Christmas present to you. I hope you enjoy them.

In May of 2000, we adopted Buster, a sweet 2 1/2-year-old Golden Retriever/Collie mix. Buster had been abused and neglected before coming to live with us, and had never learned to play, so he had no idea what to do with the toys we bought for him. We eventually discovered that Buster really liked toys that had bunny fur on them. We bought him a few of those little bunny-fur pompoms that are meant for cats, and he loved them. If we waved one of them in front of him, he morphed from a mild-mannered couch potato into a leaping, snapping furry frenzy who desperately wanted that toy. (He actually almost jumped over the couch one time–no small feat for Buster, since he had arthritis from an early age.)

It seems that, wherever I worked, my fellow employees found out sooner or later (usually sooner) how much of a ‘dog person’ I am. So one Christmas, my office did a ‘Secret Santa’ gift exchange and I received a really cute Christmas ornament that was 3 puppies in a basket. The puppies were all made of (you guessed it) bunny fur. So a few days after receiving the ornament, we were decorating our Christmas tree, with Buster supervising. I decided to have a little fun with the bunny-fur ornament and let Buster sniff it, then started waving it just out of his reach, saying ‘Mmm, bunny fur…nice bunny fur.’ Wrong move…Buster leaped up and grabbed the ornament from my hand with one chomp. Fortunately, I got it away from him before he destroyed it. Unfortunately, we lost Buster to adrenal cancer in 2007, but we still have the ornament. It’s looking a bit raggedy these days, but every time we hang it on the tree, it brings back fond memories of Buster and his bunny-fur lust.

Second story: This one also involves Buster. We have a Christmas-tree topper that is a fiber-optic angel that changes color. (I know, it sounds kind of hokey, but it actually is pretty.) We always have the tree in front of our living-room picture window and my husband always places the angel facing the living room. One year, every time we came home from work or some other outing, the angel would be facing in a different direction. Sometimes she was looking out the window; sometimes she was looking at the television. She almost never was facing in the direction she was supposed to be. We would re-position her so she was facing the right way, but sure enough, the next day, she would be facing a different direction. We were totally puzzled as to how this was happening, but the proverbial lightbulb went on after several days when we observed Buster looking out the living-room window to the left of the tree. When he was done looking, instead of turning around and walking away, he walked across the window in front of the tree. As he walked, the tree caught on his fur and began spinning. When it stopped, the angel was looking in the wrong direction. Mystery solved.

Third story: Another Buster tale…We always make sure that Santa brings lots of goodies for our pets. They receive a stocking full of toys and treats, and we sometimes over-indulge them a bit because it’s Christmas. One year, Buster got all kinds of yummy stuff in his stocking, and we not only let him partake of his goodies, he also had bites of Christmas cookies along with his regular breakfast. This proved a little too much for his tummy to handle, and he got sick. So we cleaned him up, washed his bed, and made him comfortable, then went out to our local Chinese buffet for dinner. When we got home, we peeked in the living-room window to see where he was, and started laughing. Poor Buster obviously had a food hangover, because he was on the couch, looking forlorn, and watching a John Wayne movie on television. All he needed was an ice bag for his head to complete the picture. When we got in the house, I went over to pet him. He wagged his tail a couple of times, let out a loud belch, and went back to John Wayne.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these little stories. Don’t forget your pets when making up your gift list.