Have you noticed our obsession with outward appearances? So many people are captivated by physical appearance and youth. People go to great extremes and great expense to look better and younger. Certainly television commercials are aimed at this image. Why is it that we want to look younger? I’ve never known anyone who wanted to look older, and nobody wants to be heavy. Have you ever heard of Heavy Jeans as opposed to Skinny Jeans?

I’ve asked folks along the way for their opinions – for instance, I asked men why they like older women. Here are some of the responses: when women get older, they let themselves go; they get out of shape and are boring.

Some men believe they can recapture their youth. They trade in the older model for a newer one. Others say it’s a hassle-free relationship with a younger woman. When I was a teen, the movie “Lolita” told the story of an older man, James Mason, who became enchanted with beautiful, young Sue Lyons. It ended in a disaster.

In the 1980s, Bo Derek played in the movie “10.” Dudley Moore was intoxicated with her beauty and stalked her. He went through all types of trials to hook-up with her, and when he finally did, he could not relate to this free-spirited, perfect 10. He went back to his girlfriend with his tail tucked between his legs.

I asked a few women about the prospect of dating younger men and got a different response. They were not as interested and would prefer a slightly older man who had his life together and was more stable. I did find some women who were mesmerized by the proverbial fireman. They found these men and their six-pack abdominals sexy, and the idea of being saved struck them as romantic. Others appreciated the uniform – if that same man had been in a pair of old jeans and flannel shirt, he wouldn’t have earned a second glance.

While we’re talking about uniforms, how about men and cheerleaders? These girls are of another species. They are fit, trim, athletic, sexy, outgoing, and every man’s fantasy. The same goes for women in bathing suits. One man was very honest when he said, “When I go to the beach, I don’t say, ‘Look at that nice personality walking by.'”

Some men want show pieces  – they want women who turn heads. A friend of mine who is only thirty years-old and very attractive to females has this philosophy: “I don’t want one of those really hot girls. They’re too high maintenance.” I’m not sure I could be that sensible if I was in his position, but I do admire his attitude.

When I was in high school, I was attracted to a girl not especially good looking. I was walking her home one day, and a car load of bottom-feeders started making fun of me for seeing her. I can’t even imagine the pain she felt. She was so warm and genuine that I didn’t care what was said. I ended up dating her for two years, and then I went away to college. When I came home, she was with someone else. I did go on to date some of the most beautiful girls on campus, but something was missing, and I was never to find it again.

“But then one day I left my girl

I left her far behind me

And now I’m lost, so gone and lost

Not even God can find me.”

-Maria from “Paint Your Wagon”